BOOKING AN OFFICIANT

It seems to me people fail to recognize that wedding officiants often officiate at more than one wedding per day. By this, I do not mean that officiants officiate more than one wedding seven days a week, fifty-two weeks per year. The fact of the matter is that there are only so many days in a year that couples want to be married. These tend to cluster around weekends during the summer months. During these periods, wedding officiants are in high demand.

It is rarely, effective or efficient, therefore, for a couple or a wedding planner to ask if a wedding officiant is available to officiate a wedding on a certain day without reference to a specific time on that day.

Officiants require specific time, date and location information to assess whether they are available to officiate weddings, as their commitment is determined not only by the specific time of the ceremony, but also their ability to navigate the distance from one venue to another in a timely fashion.

When seeking an officiant be sure to include date, time and location so he can respond accurately, promptly.

Rev. Ray Cross BA, Bth
http://brideschoiceofficiant.com
ray@brideschoiceofficiant.com
http://bridalvows.ca

MANAGING THE UNEXPECTED

My daughter is a professional actor. One of my greatest delights is to watch her performances.

Live theatre is especially exciting. It’s when an actor’s improv skills get tested. After all, the show must go on, and a really skilled actor is able to roll with the unexpected, blending it into the performance so skilfully that many don’t even notice the aberration, or, alternatively, skilled actors adeptly use “blunders” to enhance the effectiveness of the performance.

In wedding officiating I aspire to the same. With more than thirty-years experience, I’ve learned to anticipate the unexpected, think quickly on my feet and either skilfully minimize effect of the unexpected or turn it to add to the celebration. It’s the art of taking what I am given and enhancing it every way I can to make a wedding most memorable. Sometimes this involves lightening the effect of a miscue with a little humour. Sometimes it involves a little “traffic copping” to reposition people to maximize effective presentation or visual balance. It’s all part of the thrill of officiating, and I love it.

“AH!!!” WEDDINGS

As a Wedding Officiant I have opportunity to participate in and observe a lot of weddings, with many different tones in many different settings. During more than thirty years of serving in this position I have thought often about what works and what doesn’t. By this I do not mean to say that there is some written or unwritten standard by which all weddings should be judged, or to which they must conform. On the contrary, I really enjoy the variety that couples are building in modern weddings — variety spurred by their own unique relationships and personalities. What I really enjoy is the artistry of taking the colours of a couple and painting them into the palate of their venue in such a way that the wedding becomes an “AH!!!!” moment for all who attend, and leaves bride and groom and everybody present with indelible recollections of a ceremony that spoke volumes about a unique relationship being launched into a higher dimension of intimacy, delight and trust.

Rev. Ray Cross BA, Bth
http://brideschoiceofficiant.com
ray@brideschoiceofficiant.com
http://bridalvows.ca

 

THE PACE OF PAGEANTRY

I often tell couples that pageantry moves slowly. This became profoundly evident during the Royal Wedding of William and Kate. Everything moved majestically and grandiosely. The slow and steady movement of all added to their sense of importance in the scheme of things. It’s something I, as a wedding officiant, seek to develop in weddings I officiate. A wedding is a bride’s opportunity to be “queen for a day” – to literally shine in the glow of her transcendence. All attention should be on her. This is the bride’s moment. If done right, grooms dissolve in the wonder of the sparkling jewel that approaches to be claimed, cuddled and cherished.

Rev. Ray Cross
www.brideschoiceofficiant.com
ray@brideschoiceofficiant.com
www.bridalvows.ca

WEDDING ARTISTRY

When I officiated weddings while in pastoral ministry, the wedding ceremonies were almost always in the church sanctuary. This meant that my officiating involved the same aisle, the same pew arrangement, the same doors, the same furnishings, the same lighting, the same front staging layout – same, same, same…

What I love about officiating now is officiating weddings in many venues. It’s the challenge of adjusting to different settings and varied arrangements. I love arriving early for weddings to explore the many venues, conducive to many atmospheres and so many layouts. Maximizing the benefits of each of them so weddings are most beautiful and memorable is part of the artistry of officiating that I love.

Rev. Ray Cross BA, BTh
http://brideschoiceofficiant.com
ray@brideschoiceofficiant.com
http://bridalvows.ca

WEDDING EXPLOSIONS OF CREATIVITY

Officiating weddings offers opportunity to participate in explosions of creativity. I never know what to expect, and that is part of the delight of being a wedding officiant.

A recent wedding pushed this to the limit, blowing me away completely, as two tiny darlings appeared, holding hands and walking with amazing precision to a song that so aptly captured the tone of their part in the wedding processional. It seemed that by turning down the treble, verbal diction in the song was somewhat obscured, increasing a carefree, almost infant tone. To my unskilled ear the song seemed merely to be saying, “domedi domedi dome dome”.

The song was from the animated feature, “Despicable Me”, entitled “Unicorns, I Love Them” and the couple had produced a loop so that the song stayed in the vocal part of the song throughout the children’s processional.

Talking about awe inspiring, childlike delight! I still smile at the memory — I’m sure I am not alone.

Rev. Ray Cross BA, BTh
http://brideschoiceofficiant.com
ray@brideschoiceofficiant.com
http://bridalvows.ca

SERIOUS ABOUT MY HUMOUR

When this wedding officiant started in pastoral ministry, many moons ago, it was his view, as it is today as well, that preaching should be defined as, “Truth through personality.”

The problem, as this officiant discovered it, was that he enjoyed life and what he was doing too much for some. This officiant has a rich sense of delight in life, especially in the humorous side of things.

Due to this side of my nature, I tend to blend humour, even jokes, into my dissertations.

In years past, as I discovered, the religious stuffed-shirts suspected my penchant for humour as a sacrilegious disrespect.

For this reason, I preached a sermon entitled, “I’m Serious About My Humour.” I explained that humour causes people (normal people, not rigid religionists) to relax, and relaxation improves receptiveness to truth. Besides, what’s wrong with enjoying our faith, or, as is the case here, with enjoying our wedding experience.

While few desire their weddings exhibit the atmosphere of a gong show, a little tasteful levity tends to brighten occasions and sweeten memories, and is wonderful in minimizing negative effects of missteps, verbal bloopers and clumsy moments.

Rev. Ray Cross BA, Bth
http://brideschoiceofficiant.com
ray@brideschoiceofficiant.com
http://bridalvows.ca

CEREMONY SEGMENTATION

Previously I had mentioned the concept of segmentation concerning wedding ceremonies. For this wedding officiant, the processional, above all else, is the pageantry segment. It sets the tone for the importance of the occasion. Most, however, do not want the aura of structured processional coolness to permeate the rest of the occasion.

For this reason, as the guests are being seated at the conclusion of the processional, this officiant will usually spend a few moments conferring with the couple in subdued, confidential conversation. I may commend the bride, and perhaps the bridal party on the majesty of their entry. I may check to make sure the intense emotions stirred by the processional have subsided sufficiently to proceed – if not, we pause for composure to return. Whatever is appropriate to the couple this officiant adjusts to provide, and in so doing, I hope to stimulate personal connections that ease the stress and nurture warmth.

Then I proceed, officiating with a slightly adjusted tone, less rigid, more responsive, more personal according to the dynamic of what the couple have expressed as their desire for the occasion.

Rev. Ray Cross BA, BTh
http://brideschoiceofficiant.com
ray@brideschoiceofficiant.com
http://bridalvows.ca

A DOWN SIDE OF PAGEANTRY

A down side to pageantry, I think, is the cool cloud it may cast on an occasion. While the crispness of pageantry is profoundly appropriate to Royal Weddings, it may leave something to be desired in the kind of weddings to which we commoners are inclined to aspire. While we treasure the order and grandeur that pageantry contributes to our most precious occasion, we do not want our weddings to be cold and impersonal.

For this reason, my style in officiating weddings it to segment the tone of wedding activities. The processional, for this officiant, is the most important pageantry event of a wedding. It should move with unrushed majesty, setting the tone for the impending vows that will change the life direction of bride and groom. But few desire that the ceremony itself be sanitized by a pageantry that robs the rest of the occasion of personal warmth. There needs to be a transition to something different.

Rev. Ray Cross BA, BTh
http://brideschoiceofficiant.com
ray@brideschoiceofficiant.com
http://bridalvows.ca

THE EXCELLENCE OF PAGEANTRY

As you watch the upcoming Royal Wedding, with its matchless pageantry, you will likely come away wowed by the wonder of its majestic and primped properness – every movement orchestrated, every word elocuted, every expression clay-dolled. This is pageantry polished to ultimate brilliance.

I love pageantry. I aspire to build some of it into every wedding I officiate. Whether small or large, in opulent venue or residential garden or kitchen, I think a degree of pageantry adds to the sense of importance of every wedding occasion.

Rev. Ray Cross
http://brideschoiceofficiant.com
ray@brideschoiceofficiant.com
http://bridalvows.ca